Commercial Blog

Watching Heroes. A woman's ex husbad escaped from jail and lured her. Then he took their child after hurting her and ran...what a sweetheart. Waiting for What About Brian. And hah, now i've found it. TV junkie these days i think. Then again, what's it matter? It's not like i have much else to do.

I wonder if marrige counseling actually works. I imagine it would take a lot of guts to go to it in the first place. I mean, you have to talk about...ugh...feelings. How devistating would it be if one person was willing to try it but the other had to much pride to do it?

I'm blogging inbetween commercials, so yea, this will porbably end up being totally random.

I hate being jobless. I feel like such a fucking loser, but then again, it's not even about that. I just freak out about money. I like money, similar to most other people, and when i don't have it, or it's overly limited, i feel uh...chlosterphobic??? That's not the word and neither is poor...however, i cannot think of it, so just follow me on that one anyways k. With the holidays coming up in 56 days, well that doesn't help me at all. I bet it hurts to get sprayed with pepper spray in the eyes. Uh right, holidays and money. Okay, so much depends on money you know. Me traveling back to see my family (including my girlfriend) the day after christmas depends on money. That's a solid $500.00, just to be safe. Then of course there's christmas presents. Yes, I felt an obligation to share that as well. Yea, i mean, Christmas presents. After saving up 500$ for my just after Chrsitmas/new years trip, i'll still need to save up more to buy presents for, at a minimum my brother, my sister, and my girlfriend. No one else is of much concern to me. I know Megan will be happy just by my being there with her for a few weeks but...yea.

I feel so fucking cool getting to smoke at my own computer. I almost don't like smoking these days, but of course I do it anyhow, cause that's just how i roll. I wonder if it is an addiction by now, but maybe it just more of a craving, which is kind of the same thing? Well, it could always be something worse...drugs perhaps...so i'm doing alright. Now i want to chain smoke. Cute...

I've decided i'm applying for blockbuster online after i get done on here. My father says he can get me a job at Belk...and for now, i'm thinking that's the way to go. I put in for McD's a few days ago but nothing back so far. If i don't hear back by the 2nd
I'm doing Belk. This means I have to dress decent everyday, like I used to. Not that i dress bad now...infact, i have impecible style...i just LOVE jeans and now i'll have to wear dress pants. Hmmm...

I carved a pumpkin last night. Or rather, I picked out the template and poked the holes, then my Dad carved it with a steak knife...we didn't have pumpkin tools. =( While it was made to be Bob Marley, it looks more like Jesus Christ, but you know...whatever...cool either way.

My brother broke my heart today. He's so scared to go back to her everytime he leaves us. Eats at me more than anything. I just want to steal him and go far away where he won't have to deal with shit anymore. I cannont see him go through what I already had to so long ago. We tried to feed him happy thoughts. He went on a haunted hay ride tonight. He got to see his friend Alex, and since Alex was there, we knew he was safe...but only for one night. What about tomorrow?

We're supposed to be moved to Wilmington by Christmas. That does make him happy. It'll be easier to gain custody once we're all in one town as well. I told Dad if he wouldn't have ever married that bitch, everything would be alright...he would still have his kids. He said he fixed that too...as in getting a divorce, but not really. That's the kind of mistake that cannot be fixed once children are brought into it.

Filling out that application now.

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